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Returning to the fold; what it taught me about myself, motherhood and community We spend lifetimes believing that we have to do it ALL and do it SOLO; thinking that self-reliance is the way and hyper-independence is the ultimate armor. This profound post by Navatman member, Shruti Sharma, reflects on unlearning this. By returning to dance amidst the chaos of motherhood, she found strength in surrendering to the village and embracing the warmth of community.
Raised with a highly competitive mindset, I was the textbook eldest daughter with a go it alone attitude. I was so thoroughly subscribed to the idea of hyper-independence that I had convinced myself it was the only way to exist. The superior way, even. When I started dancing, I was in a different phase of life than most of my fellow dancers. My schedule was dictated by the availability of a babysitter, the recovery from a new monthly virus my daughter had picked up at school and invariably shared with me, or figuring out if my aching ankle could handle a short day of riyaaz on top of the 10k steps I was going to inflict on it chasing my daughter at playgrounds. Every moment of my day had to be meticulously rationed into prioritized calendar blocks, just as every bit of my post-partum and maternal energy was strictly allocated to the various roles I was required to perform. When I finally ceased my dancing - unaware at the time that it was merely a temporary departure - I struck a solemn bargain with myself: I would refuse the siren call of reminiscence. My days had freed up some, yet I found myself adrift and untethered. I told myself that the feeling would pass, but the reality was this: dance had become so inextricably woven into the very fabric of my existence that, without it, I was unraveling.  Upon my return, I was struck by the realization that it was the village I had surrendered that I had yearned for the most. While I craved the dance, it was the embrace of my mentors and peers - offered with such unreserved warmth - that instilled in me the comforting sense of never having truly departed from the fold. It’s easy to overlook the importance of community, especially in systems that propagate and incentivize bootstrap individualism. The benefits are often intangible at first. For me, they manifested as co-regulation- a neurological phenomenon where we calm each other down just by being together. The meditative nature of repetitive dance movements coupled with the mutual soothing of the central nervous system helped dim the din of everyday life in profound ways. It made me realize that finding these nooks of stillness ultimately empowered me to show up as a better version of myself in all walks of life. A personal memory surfaces, one that I hope illuminates the essence of the thoughts I have shared: On an evening heavy with rain and a theater brimming with expectant eyes, as my fellow dancers and I stepped onto the stage to perform a piece that had lived in our bodies for months, something transformational took hold. As I looked into the eyes of a young dancer, I found them mirrored in mine, both glimmering with unshed tears. This singular moment, spontaneous and entirely unchoreographed, held us together in a state of pure connection - a transcendence that dissolved every difference that once stood between us. In that instant, the importance of why we do what we do truly crystallized for me, as it did I am certain, for my fellow dancer. About this post This post is part of an ongoing series reflecting on cross-cultural community, ancestral memory, and the ways dance carries both joy and resistance. These stories are not separate from the work on stage. They ARE the work. When the Sun Rises brings these threads together in a live experience. Join us June 26–28 at Ailey Theater. Be part of what we are building. About us
Navatman and Baila Society joined forces in 2024 for a uniquely New York City experience: a place where two women-led arts organizations based in the cultural traditions of Afro-Latinx arts (Salsa, Latin Hustle, Afro-Cuban) and Indian arts (Bharatanatyam, Kathak, Hindustani and Carnatic music) come together. In this shared space, we explore how the force of artists and students working together can promote, define, and create a sense of stability and strength, joy and love within communities at large - particularly through artistic endeavors. Written by Shruti Sharma
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